High on Life

High on Life

I left the group I’ve been caravaning with in Lake Havasu this past week. It was hard saying goodbye but it just felt like the right time.
I’m heading east now to deal with an investment gone awry, and from there to figure out where to get a job and spend the summer.
The past five days is the longest I’ve been alone since moving into the van… I thought I would adjust quickly, but instead I’ve felt disappointment and isolation.
I know this also has to do with my past resurfacing… but I’ve done the work there. And I’ve now built a life I love.
Laying in bed this evening, feeling blue and scrolling through Facebook, I came upon a video of a friend dancing.
It happens every once in a while that you come across something so inspiring that it motivates you to move. To actually get up and do the things you know you are meant to be doing.
And to realize that this life… in spite of the pain and turmoil and madness. It really is beautiful. It really is a gift!
I’ve had some people make references lately about how I seem to be living in a fantasy world. And when am I going to wake up to the reality of it all…
Your reality is what you make it. And I don’t plan on waking up from mine anytime soon.
I may still have bad days, fears and regrets, but that is a cloud on a summers day. When you grow up the way I did and you live in darkness for so long… this is light, this is magic.
To have air in my lungs and love in my heart, creativity in my hands and freedom in my feet. And to be healthy, AND commitment free, AND TO LIVE IN MY VERY OWN CAMPER VAN?!
Sorry to all the realists, but I’m back to being high on life.

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