Downsizing

Downsizing

"So yes, I'm leaving familiarity in the rear view mirror. I'm tossing caution to the wind, I'm taking the unmapped road. For I cannot gain from I do not value, and I cannot loose what I have given away. I would rather fail and learn, then keep my hands clean. I would rather get lost in the wild, then to wonder what could have been"

I had measured at some point, Im sure of it… “27 feet is not THAT big!”

My friend was walking the length of Spyhouse coffee shop. “That’s 27 ft” he declared far too confidently. I just sat and silently stared, trying to wrap my head around towing something that gigantic… I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop and park it just anywhere, but his estimations seemed MUCH larger then I was anticipating. And yet, the interior is only 23ft, meaning I will have 150 sq ft of living space.

I will soon be moving into a 27ft vintage Airstream, but It is not just an Airstream, it will be my home. For months before I made this decision, I contemplated life; “Where do I want to end up, how do I want my life to look?” Anyone who knows me well, knows I am not one to settle. This decision was the answer on how to make that “unsettling” a lifestyle.

There is so much preparation involved in this process, the main task at hand is downsizing.

The truth is that downsizing has not been easy. There are far too many things that the article on minimalism neglected to mention. Like the heart wrenching feelings while tossing out memorabilia. And the panic stricken moments of realization; “I’m throwing away everything I’ve worked so hard for”. The process has been tumultuous at best.

My furniture is gone. My wardrobe has been cut in half.I have found a new home for all of my old Christmas ornaments. My sisters and friends have taking many of my old possessions.
And still there is much to go through.
And still I find myself having an inner battle over each item.
“Space is valuable now”, I tell myself over and over again.

I have survived with little before, I am no stranger to unconventional living.

I have moved states on a whim with only a backseat full of clothes, slept on an air mattress for 6 months, taken extended road trips with no planned destination.

I have worked and lived on multiple cruise ships, with very confined living space and extremely limited resources. Both in which I was assigned roommates I didn’t know. One in which, as an American worker, I was the minority.

But these situations were all temporary. And these seasons ended with a place for me to go back to. This time there will be no storage unit. No extra bedroom at my parents place. No back up plan.This time it’s not just an adventure. Its long term. Its life.
I am excited. If I could, I would choose it all over again. But I am also terrified.

It feels as if I am disassembling my life; leaving my family and friends, throwing away comfort and security. And for what? A thrill? A chance at the unknown? But who gets a chance like this, and what do I really have to lose? My life is already unconventional and I’ve come to love that. If I want freedom, travel and exploration then really, it only makes sense.

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